yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
