It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize