I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
