there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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