is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
