just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
