from now on my penis is your penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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