I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
