Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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