office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
