Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
