I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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