also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
