That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
