just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
