In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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