once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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