omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
