the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
