Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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