First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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