I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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