Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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