youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
