My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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