forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize