Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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