I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
