So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Couch. On fire.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
