What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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