I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just threw up on my dentist
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize