The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
now i know why i became what i already was.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
