White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I need a beard to bite.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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