so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
