it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize