Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
