dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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