I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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