Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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