After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
