are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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