Duck Duck Cougar?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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