I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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