how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
