We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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