theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
