i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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