he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
