and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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