Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
