the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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