Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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