everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All I want is dick and wine.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
