please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
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Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
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im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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