For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
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I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
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I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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