i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
