who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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