I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
