i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
