I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
